Started a new blogspot to release all my emotions so that I don’t have to tell you and feel stupid or irrelevant.

I realised that recently I haven’t really written anything about myself and my life .. it’s kind of just pictures and reblogs! And it’s also been common for me to do these kinds of posts after every few months .. So here goes:

• Since going to the Gold Coast with my boyfriend, I haven’t really done much since it’s been holidays! Celebrated a few friends birthdays, went clubbing twice because I’m getting really sick of clubbing. My body can’t handle it anymore.
• My second ever music festival ~ stereosonic again!
• Caught up with friends, rekindled friendships, lost 2 friends on my own will
• Spending a lot of time with Nathan. Not as much as I would like to though :(
• Got into my first ever car accident! Mind you it wasnt my fault and my car is being returned to me next week as they are almost finished repairing it! I am so excited to have her back in my life … Life without my car has been so hard on me and nathan .. and may because now instead of me driving her everywhere, she has to drive me everywhere hehehe.
• Been working, joined the gym, bought a lot of pairs of shoes.
• Christmas killed my wallet … christmas kills my soul
• New years eve / new years with nathan and his mates
• Figuring out how to drive semi manual cars
• Restarting the House MD series all over again, because .. I’ve got nothing to watch
• Bought tickets for Swedish house mafia, Above and beyond, Cirque Du Soleil and really contemplating about Future Music festival …
• Not sure if I want to go trak next week but then theres club 23 with the girls the week after I believe.
• Also I’m sick. Who gets sick in summer??

Life has been pretty calm lately. I can’t wait until uni starts so I can buy stationary and start to study again! I always feel so lost without studying … but when uni comes around I hate myself hahaha

Bring me

• Less weight gain
• More motivation
• Less car accidents
• More cars ;)
• Less failing
• More success

I need to stop with the effort. I need to take a step back and appreciate myself and all the things that I’ve done that were actually worthwhile. I’m so freaking tired of putting in effort and not getting any kind of recognition or return from it.

Im just so fucking tired.

You don’t even care. So why am I sitting here crying my eyes out like a little bitch. Why do I care? I dont know but this is fucked up. I put in way too much effort and work into this to feel this way.

Conversing with old friends and wondering why we ever fell apart! I’ve missed this

So it’s been a while since I’ve done an update on my life ! I really havent done one of these posts since my old blogspot, which I don’t remember the password to anymore .. and I don’t remember which email I used with it LMAO so fail. Anyway! So I just finished exams a bit more than a month ago! Not gonna lie I did extremely good in two subjects; HD’d that shit and failed two. I kind of actually expected it for law but was really pissed off because I failed accounting by 1 mark :( OH WELL. You live and you learn .. and what I’ve learned is .. I should probably go to tutorials and lectures more often than not .. heh heh.

After finishing exams I went to the Gold Coast with my boyfriend. Stayed at Q1 resort and spa and went to Movie World and Dreamworld. We had passes to White Waterworld but I had my period LMAO. Sorreh Nathan :( felt kind of bad but he didn’t mind not going anyway … so yay. Very grateful to have an empathetic boyfriend who understands my needs LOL. The five days went by too quickly .. and I really wanna go back. Nathan wants to go Sydney soon .. for New years but I think I have work so hopefully we can go after! Anyway, if you wanna know what I got up to in the gold coast have a look on my blog .. I have a summary somewhere. Not that anyones interested anyway LOL

After Gold Coast I haven’t been doing much, clubbed twice maybe and celebrated a few birthdays. Been shopping and just hanging out with the boyfriend, may and catching up with people who I’ve lost contact with over the past year. Went to stereosonic which was amazing, so much better than last years! Been working and trying to make some money to spoil my boyfriend for christmas because I barely get to spoil him. He’s already figured out what I’m going to get him for Christmas and he loves the idea so I’m kind of relieved because I was worried that someone else would get it for him or he would get it for himself. Hoping to also get May the GPS she’s been wanting since she got her license a year ago LOL .. hmm.. what else.. I’ve also recently joined the gym and I really hope that I can lose some weight and tone up my body. I’m not really one to show off my body and wear mid riff tops and super short shorts; but I’m going to do this for myself because I feel like I have a really bad image about my body and my self esteem is pretty crappy. Hopefully this will give me some kind of boost in my self esteem.

BUT YEAH. Thats about it. Life isnt so glamorous and exciting right now but I’m actually really happy. I kind of feel like I’ve done the right thing by cutting ties with most of the people I used to be close with. Only because I feel like I was being used and I really don’t need that in this stage of my life. I know I deserve a lot more than that. So yay for being happy and hopefully becoming a lot more fit and confident in the months to come!

Some people are only interested in you because they have some kind of hidden agenda. Once they fulfill that need/want/desire they just fuck off. Next time you’re in a crisis, need a lift, want to buy something off me, are lonely and need a friend to console in .. don’t come running to me. Because when you got your life “back together” you kind of just left me out in the cold.

So many people have questioned our friendship and I’m starting to also. I don’t need you, to be quite frank .. and you may not need me now. But you always come running back when you need something. When you do; no matter how small or mundane the favour you ask of me, I won’t be there to get you back on your feet.

May the good lord be with you
Cos I sure as hell aint.

Been a pretty crappy weekend. Then this morning I find myself waking up with my body being all fucked up. Can’t move properly so I have to crawl around because no ones home. Been lying in bed since 1am and I havent eaten or went to the toilet all day. I have a fever too and shit just sucks. Didn’t even party properly this weekend because I was designated driver. So why is my body so fucked up???

I hate feeling sorry for myself… and yet I find myself doing just exactly that.